ONLINE DATING INFORMATION & ADVICE

How safe is Online Dating?

• Safety-wise, meeting on the Net is inherently similar to meeting offline.
• As long as the same standard dating precautions are followed, cyber-savvy daters can feel truly at ease while getting to know each other. The main thing to remember: trust your instincts and use common sense just like you would offline.
• Helpful Hints
• Remember that you are in control of your online experience at all times. You can remain completely anonymous until you feel ready.
• You are also in control when it comes to taking an online relationship offline. Plus, you have an advantage online because you can get to know each other before you meet. Remember that you don't need to take anything further than the computer or phone wires until you feel completely at ease. Go at your own pace!
• When you do decide to meet face to face, pick a public place and provide your own transportation to and fro. Tell a friend where you're going and check in when you return home.
• Never include your personal contact information in your profile, especially telephone numbers, email, home address or your last name, and only give them out when your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust. It's okay to take your time.
• Set up an email account just for online personals.
• Ask a lot of questions and watch for inconsistencies.
• Stay away from members who won't take no for an answer or pressure you for any kind of personal information. Serious cyber-savvy daters will respect your space and allow you to take your time.
• If someone asks you to go to their personal web site or asks you for money, use common sense not to oblige and then report the situation to the dating site.
• If someone gives you a phone number with a strange area code, check it out to make sure it's not a charge number before you make the call.
• Using your own good judgment is your best bet because ultimately you are responsible for your personal dating experience. Trust your instincts and then have fun with the right person.

•  So, you’ve decided to join a dating website. You’re hoping someone out there will find something interesting about you and try to get to know you better.
• Many members worry about appearing ‘desperate’ or over keen. This can mean putting in less effort into a profile in a bid to ‘play it cool’. Of course, nobody wishes to be seen as desperate. However, keep this in mind: how will others know what you want, if you don’t ask for it? How will they ever appreciate your finer qualities if you remain tightlipped?
• Therefore, to be successful in the online dating world, your profile is highly important. Members search through a large number of profiles on these sites. If there is little information about a prospective date, then they are more than likely to skim over an empty profile as quickly as possible. Look at this as a great chance to sell yourself!
• The first aspect of your profile to consider should be your photo. No matter how much emphasis people put on the importance of personality, the old expression, ‘it’s nice to put a face to a name’ couldn’t be more apt.
• Physical appearance plays a big part in the real world, when first becoming attracted to someone. Also, it helps to ensure that people will remember you. The golden rule when posting photos on dating sites is obvious – BE HONEST. We’ve all heard stories of people who’ve posted a photo that is ten or twenty years old. Or worse still, a photo of someone else entirely! Now, if you never intend to meet someone, then this is not a problem. But let’s be realistic – you wouldn’t be on a dating site if you weren’t hoping to meet someone!
• A misleading photo causes all sorts of unnecessary problems on a first date. You will have your date questioning your honesty. You want to turn up for dates relaxed, with your best attitude put forward. Still not convinced? Just think how you would feel, if you were deceived by a photo, and that should be incentive enough for you to be accurate.
• So what if you’ve gained a few pounds? Aged a bit? Give yourself some credit, you’re still a beautiful person, and sure to be someone’s ideal ‘type’. So, try to get a recent photo of yourself, looking the best you can. Avoid shots that are so dark or distant that no one can see your face. People will only see either an insecure person, or someone who has something to hide and move on. Just think how frustrated and disinterested you’d be if you came across such a picture.
• Let’s talk about location. How much information is right? Obviously, for safety reasons you aren’t going to put your address into your profile. Apart from this, put as much detail as you feel comfortable with. At least, put the state you live in. at most, your suburb. Anything in between (such as the city your suburb is located in) is also fine. We all know this, but it bears repeating, do not put your phone number on any public site.
• It will save everyone a great deal of time if you are open and honest about your sexual preference.
• Talk about your interests and hobbies. Don’t just leave it blank! And don’t worry if they don’t seem interesting enough. This is who you are. If you are honest and forthcoming with this information, you will be more likely to attract the type of person you are after. For example, if you were the district running champion in high school, but never intend to run again, don’t put it in as a hobby! To put in hobbies you have no interest in, in the hope of appearing more impressive, will only attract people you have nothing in common with in the here and now.
• So, if you like quiet nights in, say so! Try to paint a rich and detailed picture of what the real you likes to do.
• You also really need to share a part of your personality with your audience. What are your beliefs? What are you looking for in a person? Also, if you feel you have special qualities such as a sense of humor or kind nature, try to write your profile in a way that sincerely reflects that.
• You are now ready to make your first attempt at creating a winning profile! Remember, you just need to keep it honest and current. You need to show you’ve made some level of effort to let members know who the real you is. And when in doubt, remind yourself: give the sort of information you yourself would be wanting to know about when looking at other members. Good luck

•  A very important ingredient to having a superior relationship lies in good communication. In fact, it is almost impossible to have any kind of relationship with a person unless you are able to relate to him or her. The ability to communicate effectively means that you have to pay close attention and to listen very carefully. We all have different method of communication. You need to be able to understand, appreciate, and respect how other
  people communicate, especially your dating partner.
  
• A good way to show your date that you are listening carefully to him or her is to repeat what he or she has said. Say for example your partner tells you: "You have been very distant lately," you
  then say, "So you are saying I have been distant?" Follow up with an open ended question like "Tell me more about what you mean." By saying that, you can verify what your spouse has said and make him or her feel comfortable about talking to you about
  his or her concern.
  
• How you communicate with your words could bring comfort by reducing fear and easing tension. The following are some guiding principles to help you take advantage of your words and get your point across more effectively:
  
• Do make the person you are talking to feel secure by offering a lot of support and appreciation. This gets the silent types to open up more and feel at ease.
  
• Don't make your date feel uncomfortable by judging, criticizing, or making fun of what he or she has to say.
  
• Do relax. Feeling anxious can mess up your confidence and attention. Take deep breathes when you feel like you need to end the conversation because of fear or panic.
  
• Don't feel that everything has to be resolved at one time.
  
• Do listen carefully and avoid interrupting while the other person is talking.
  
• Don't use offensive vocabularies and expressions. It is very disrespectful and cheapens you and the person you are talking to.
  
• Do get to the point and be clear on what you want to get across or if you have any questions. 

•  Taking a girl out on a date already says a lot. But this whole business is not just about seducing someone. You must gain the confidence and trust of the person sitting at the other end of the table. More than that, you must make her feel good in your presence and even want more. How to do this? Simple! When you're not flirting with her just let her take control for a while.

• Always keep in mind that women's favorite subject is themselves. This little "bug" in their software gives men a big advantage in a conversation and that is curiosity. Yet, only few use it because of the misconceptions surrounding curiosity in general. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but when a conversation between a man and a woman is concerned, I don't think it ever hurt anyone. What I'm trying to say is that if she says something that makes you curious... just ask her! This will tell her that you are interested in her person. Nevertheless, watch out for those not so discreet questions that could turn you into a cat and get you killed.

• Another thing most men forget is that women, even the prettiest, disregard themselves. If you discovered something about her that you really like make sure she can feel your admiration. This rule applies to anything from the color of her eyes to the way she back-parked her car for example. Still, try to use original ways to make compliments and remember that you'll receive the most "points" for cherishing her intelligence.

• Always listen to her when she talks! Sounds too obvious? Maybe, but the key thing is that it counts less if you've been really listening to her as long as she thinks you weren't. Therefore you can use several tricks like saying confirmation phrases ("I see", "yes" etc.) showing that you're following her. Just don’t do it so much that she mistakes you for her shrink. Re-telling what she just said is another useful skill as long as you don't abuse it. You simply rephrase what she said and she'll know you got the point. Nevertheless it can be very annoying if you overuse it.

• And, as I mentioned earlier, when she makes you curious about something just ask her! This proves you were listening in the first place. The same happens when you make a compliment based on something she just said.

• But curiosity can also be used whenever you run out of topics in a conversation. Every woman is curious by nature so all you have to do is to stir her curiosity and forget all about you running out of interesting subjects or her getting bored.

• About The Author: Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. 

•  Dating can be stressful and nerve wracking. You might feel like you are under a microscope and all your failures and faults are exposed in the open. But you can make things easier on yourself by boosting your confidence. You'll be much more attractive to any date when you exude self confidence plus you'll be able to enjoy yourself more and get much more out of the dating experience.
• Since the whole point of dating is getting to know someone better, most people are nervous about making a good impression. Self doubts can creep in - are you smart enough? Attractive enough? Successful enough? That coupled with the threat of rejection is enough to make anyone's confidence go south.
• So how can you increase your confidence for your next date?
• First off, don't blow the date all out of proportion. It is just a date - one afternoon or evening. The rest of your life does not depend on it, although of course, you could be meeting your future spouse! Whether you are just looking for a fun night out or desperately trying to find Mr or Mrs right, it is best to just focus on the date itself. Take it for what it is and don't put a lot of pressure on the event. Enjoy the person you are on the date with and the meal, movie or whatever - don't have any great expectations other than a fun date.
• Go into the date thinking of yourself as a person that has a lot of confidence. We've all seen them, the person that sweeps into the room and turns heads even when they might not be the most attractive or best dressed. If you picture yourself as confident then you will act this way - even when you don't really feel it.
• You've heard it before but the best way to have confidence on a date is to be yourself. Don't try to impress your date by acting like someone you are not because you will not have the confidence to pull it off. If you hit it off with your date, you'll be glad you weren't pretending to be someone else as it will only be exposed later and could really muss things up for you. Plus it just takes too much effort to pretend to be someone else and you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much. And anyway, why wouldn't your date like you for who you are?
• If you feel insecure about yourself, focus on the other person. Become interested in their hobbies, likes dislikes and really think about what they have to say. When you put them in the spotlight it takes the spotlight off of you, plus you get to learn a lot about them. Ask questions and really hear the answers then ask more questions about the answers. Of course, you want to do this in a conversational way and not make your date feel like you are grilling them! While you don't want to talk just about yourself the whole time you also don't want to make it seem like you are avoiding answering their questions. When you do talk about yourself highlight your positive points.
• Another way to take some of the pressure out of a date is to do something different instead of sitting at dinner and feeling insecure about coming up with 3 hours of conversation with someone you don't know. Find a common interest, perhaps hiking or bird watching and make that date to do that. This way you can talk about your experiences related to this interest and it will take a lot of the pressure off as well as boost your self-confidence as you will be talking about something you know a lot about!
• The main thing when dating is to remember that you are a valuable and special person. Don't feel inferior to anyone and be confident - this will help win you many friends and, maybe even that special someone!

•  What makes a man appealing? Is it his dashing good looks? Is it his rock-hard pecs and abs of steel? Or is it his smile and his personality that takes the top plum? In a society where everyone seems aesthetically astute, it's difficult to validate this question for sure. Sexiness is a very subjective matter and is very relative at that. It holds inconsonant views from each individual just as everyone squabbles over tastes in clothes and food. Hence, a universal answer to this blown-up question is an illusion.
• Nonetheless, being in a magnificent relationship with someone so downright sexy replete with all the sensual and sensible traits any woman would kill for, I think I can provide authentic down-to-earth revelations regarding this subject.
  
• So what makes a man sexy? Take your whiffs off the following:
  
•  1. Masculinity
• There is more to a man than his firm butt and washboard abs. True, what a woman first notices is his anatomical assets but what lingers in her mind is not all that. It's his inherent masculinity. It's in the way he languidly struts across the room with a show of adequacy and grace and the way he flashes the glint in his eyes that ultimately creates the spark. It's also in the manner that he moves and talks that keeps women's eyes riveted at him. Being masculine does not merely suggest flaunting a large build or a protective quality but having this natural instinctive masculine self to trigger women's instinctive feelings of attraction.
  
• 2. Smile
• A natural sweet smile is one of the greatest attraction of a man. It exudes an aura of congeniality and establishes charisma presence. It also breaks a woman's resistance and communicates hidden messages without any verbal language. This is why a man who is generous with his smile is guaranteed to maintain a women-magnet profile!
  
• 3. Eye contact
• A man who knows how to have eye contact is a man who knows how to communicate. Women just like men are absolute attention seekers. They want men to listen and to take heed of the things they say. Thereupon, they demand affirmation. Eye contact is a way of ratifying. It makes a woman feel sufficiently attended to and cared for. Eye contact makes women feel so extremely special that they tend to sometimes melt right on the spot.
  
• 4. Confidence
• Confidence makes a man. There's just something about the appeal of wealth and power that women can't resist. Antithetical to how most people view it, giving off that commanding vibe isn't always dependent on one's bank account. Men can actually take on that aura of authority just by moving through life with an air of self-assurance and a boost of self-esteem.
  
• 5. Aromatic sense
• If a man is a making of a heartthrob onscreen and is a hunk on a ramp but stinks, he definitely goes down the cutthroat world. No woman likes a man who smells a bit too ripe like he just spent 24 hours locked in the bathroom. If a man looks good and smells even better, women are bound to swarm around him.
  
• 6. Sense of Style
• Some men just don't seem the type to go with the fashion trend. But it does not mean that they are passé. Some just have their own personal preferences and resist the lure of punked-up garments. Actually, it's not the clothes that make a man sexy. It's how he carries his apparel with confidence and ease that does. Clothes don't entice women, it's the man that makes those clothes look good in him that wiles them.
  
• 7. Communication skills
• Intellect is a factor in today's attraction equation. We are in such a competitive world that anyone without it is immediately slighted. But intellect without communication skills is not an attractive product. Conversational skills are necessary for any man to win the tilt. He must know when and how to start up a conversation and carry it on 'til it tapers off. He should not patronize women and is not so full of himself. It is believed that if a man is able to stimulate a woman's brain juices in a conversation, it is likely that he can stimulate her other juices as well.
• 8. Sensitivity
• Sensitivity is sexy but too much sensitivity is feminity. So where do we draw the line? When we talk about sensitivity on the right scale, it means having a sense of empathy, confidentiality and trust rolled into one. When a woman confides something, a man's initial reaction is to help her find a solution or fix it himself. This is not sensitivity. When a woman expresses her feelings, she just needs an ear to absorb the steam out of her being. A sexy man sees this through and gets women every time.
• 9.Sense of Humor
• Laughter releases chemicals that create a sense of well-being, which is a wonderful turn-on. A man equipped with a good sense of humor automatically wins his points on the sexy scale with women. With the mighty use of his expression and wits combined, he becomes an addiction that women just can't get enough of. Women think that if he can evoke them with laughter in public, chances are he can also make them giggle in bed.
• 10. Oddity
• Extrinsic and intrinsic personal abilities and traits that are considered unique and superior by a woman's biology and also by the society to which she identifies with are, to varying extents, very charming to the female species. If a man has the gift of music or have potential fancy footwork or simply has art at his fingertips, he can charm his way anywhere. A mysterious facade that keeps her intrigued and guessing is also deemed bewitching. But a man's resistance to a woman's seduction is considered the prime. It's effects are naturally ingrained into the "sex" part of a woman's brain that it drives her motors purring all the time.
  
•  What makes a man sexy is but everything about him and even more. Whether it be on the surface or skin deep, it's just a matter of projection. Every man is sexy in their own ways. They just have to feel that in themselves, so the seething sexiness comes out of them naturally.

• About the author: Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Formerly a contributing scribe to The Freeman and Sunstar Philippines, her literary works have been published in various magazines and online publications.

•  Having sex or making love?
• Actually, the difference between the two concepts is bigger than some of us would like it to be. And, as almost every time, women feel it the most. What is the difference? Well, love. Women need to be protected, looked after and loved as much in bed as in every day life.
  
• Keep in mind that this is not just a legend used by women to manipulate men. The difference between having sex and making love, together with it's implications in a couple's sex life is what many men forget when sharing the bed-sheets with a woman.
  
• Clearly, everything written so far will not apply to one-night-stands. In those cases, it is all about a sexual intercourse between two people who only share their bodies.

• After the bottom line has been drawn, most men feel good about themselves after a one-night- stand, without thinking about their sexual performance. Totally pleasing a woman from the very first time is no easy job as the only mystery she had disclosed
  is her body.
  
• Yet, most men are attracted to one-night-stands or, with other words, to having sex. The lack of commitment needed and the easy attaining of the main goal: feeling good, are just two reasons pleading in favor of having sex.
  
• On the other hand there is so much more between a man and a woman making love. There are feelings and emotions, leading to a totally different connection between the two of them. More than that, for women, one of the most important things during sex is the environment. And this means everything from location to those few candles some like to place around the bed.
  
• Let's take them in turn a little bit. If you want to leave her smiling and begging for a cigarette and some more there are some things you might like to take into consideration.
  
• Trying dad's old car's rear suspension will make the car happier than her. The ideal location would certainly be a bed in a nice and cozy room with nothing interfering with the moment. Someone knocking on the door or even a ringing phone can have very undesirable effects. Some candle-like lights and easy-listening music in the background adds even more to the overall foreplay.
  
• Explore every inch of her body and draw imaginary contours with your fingers and tongue, kiss her neck, breasts, belly and legs, all in a specific order surrounding the most important area and closing in at the same time. All this will increase the tension and when that moment comes both you and her will feel the difference.
  
• Communication is essential for great results. Men must pay attention to the unspoken signs every woman gives them. Ignoring these signs will make women feel used. The old legend that says that when a woman says "no" she actually means "yes" is nothing more than a poor excuse so keep your ears open for her desires.
  
• If all goes well, you might be given the supreme sexual command and that's "don't stop!" When you hear that, whatever you do, DON'T STOP!

• About The Author: Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach.

•  Most men find women mysterious and confusing. You find us difficult to figure out. It isn't your fault. It's not like anyone gave you a guide book on women in high school to study.
  
• Here are some of the mysteries about women revealed:
  
• 1) Before you even get to the door most women wonder if you are Mister Right.
  
• 2) She is just as anxious as you are about your first date.
  
• 3) Women like your undivided attention. Pay attention to what she has to say and she will be more interested in hearing about you. Also keep your eyes on her. Eyeing any of the other women in the room is a definite way to make that first date your last.
  
• 4) After the first date women pretty much know if and when they will sleep with you.
  
• 5) Many women don't want to get married or at least not as early as they used to. Many women are staying single into their late thirties in favor of pursuing their own careers.
  
• 6) A woman can complain about her family all she wants but the second you criticize her family start packing your bags.
  
• 7) Asking a woman if you are the best she ever had is pointless. We will lie to avoid hurting your feelings. You will never know if you are the biggest, the best or last the longest.

• About The Author: Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach.