It can be a casual glance... or a smile... or
even a casual brush of the arm... Flirting
is an art form that some people seem to
be able to do better than others. Don't
know how to flirt?... Or maybe you just
need to brush up on your flirting skills.
Below you'll find advice and tips on the
subject, plus there's even a guide to online flirting.
How to Attract Women with Body Language Flirting by Scott Patterson
Flirting is one of the best skills you can learn when it comes to attracting women. Flirting is not difficult, but there are some techniques that you can learn to ensure you are effectively building the chemistry and attraction. By understanding the best flirting techniques, you can project your sexuality without saying a word and make her attracted to you almost instantly.
Unfortunately, men are not taught relationship and attraction skills and, consequently, many guys are lost when it comes to effectively building sexual chemistry with a woman. The good news is that flirting is something you can learn.
Before you actually begin flirting, though, it is essential that you prepare yourself mentally. You need to be confident and comfortable with yourself and disregard any faults you may let bring you down. No one is perfect, but it will be far more difficult to attract a woman when you are in a negative mindset.
Successful flirting revolves around having fun, portraying an interesting personality and enjoying the woman you are talking to. All of this "preparation" is important to create an atmosphere conducive to flirting. This will help ensure you can build an almost immediate connection with any woman you engage in conversation.
Once the right atmosphere is set, you must make sure your body languages is aligned with your attitude. Your body language should project a sense of confidence yet a relaxed attitude. It's all about body language flirting!
The key is to show her that you are enjoying the conversation and interaction, yet not worried about the outcome. What you want to avoid is a sign that you are taking things too seriously. Rather, you want her to see you as a confidant man who is not concerned about whether or not she is into you. This will give off just the right positive vibe to subconsciously draw her to you and make her want you even more.
It is also important that you give off a warm, welcoming attitude which is projected through your body language as well. Learn forward to her somewhat while she is talking and leave your arms unfolded. Folding your arms across you, for example, shows a closed personality and definitely not contribute to an attraction.
Finally, knowing how to use your smile is essential to body language flirting. A friendly smile tells a woman you are interested in her and want to get to know her.
Giving off a confident smile adds to the right flirting atmosphere and is a welcoming sign helping her feel more relaxed and comfortable around you. Your smile really is the best tool you have when it comes to flirting.
Understanding and knowing how to flirt is essential to attracting women, but portraying the right body language is basically a precursor to even the initial conversation. Create the right atmosphere, smile and relax. By doing this, you will find it much easier to build the attraction.
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Flirting And Confidence Building For Women
Flirting And Confidence Building For Women by Lee Blackspur
History has taught women to be reserved and refrain from overt actions of flirting with men. Things have changed over the years and women are now expected to make the first move, show confidence and flirt!
Most of the dating tips proclaim that women are as equal on the dating field as any man. This is sometimes a problem for women, because all of these years the role has been different.
Many females are now trying to fit into this role and are having a bit of a struggle so here are a few guidelines that can help you make this role switch!
You can take this new role and really have some fun with it. Instead of worrying about the old roles, embrace your chance to be free and show men what you are really made of. Allowing a self confident and forward aspect of your personality to come out is very sexy and men absolutely love it.
If you are uncomfortable with speech then try a different approach. Have you ever heard of talking with your body and/or eyes?
This can be one of the most forward moves that a woman can make. Body language says a great deal about what your intentions really are, especially where a man is concerned. You can invite a man over to join you or express your interest with your eyes alone. You never even have to speak a word!
Another one of the great dating tips for women comes with your conversation and listening ability. Many times men will tell you exactly what interests them and how they work if you will just listen.
Most women make the same mistake over and over again, they talk too much. If you are always talking, you can not listen.
How can you get to know the guy or determine common interests or goals if you miss them while you are talking? It is alright to talk and in fact, it is a good thing, because women often carry the conversation, but you have to let the man have his say as well.
A laugh or giggle is one of the most forgotten sexy behaviors. That is because many and most women do not understand how sexy their little giggle can actually be. Granted, it is not cute to sound like a schoolgirl or make a scene with your laugh, but a cute giggle is definitely worth working toward.
Practice, yes that is right, in the privacy of your own home so others do not assume that you have gone crazy. After you feel like you have mastered this little "giggle" of yours try it out on your friends. If they look at you like you have lost it, you may want to continue practicing. If you get a positive response then try it out the next time that you are interested in a man. Trust me, it really works.
The absolute best dating tip for women is to show interest in the man. Most males take their careers and a few hobbies very seriously, so when you are interested in their likes they really appreciate it. They want to impress you and make you feel that they are all together and very special, so feed into this desire.
Ask him questions about his career and give him positive feed back. Do the same with his interests and hobbies as well. You may hate golf or football, but give him positive feed back. You do not have to lie and tell him you love it, but a good appreciation for what he likes will go a long way.
Being yourself is the best way to find a man and keep him around. It is now acceptable in the dating world for women to be more flirty and forward, if you can do it that is great. On the other hand, if you can not move past those old or more traditional roles of the female in dating, that is all right as well.
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How To Flirt Online
How To Flirt Online by Pratricia LaSonde
Face to face flirting is often intended to elicit interest from a potential mate through playful and flattering behavior. There are several different components that are involved in the art of flirtation. These can include the type of conversation that one engages in, the brief episodes of physical touch and overall body language.
Flirting over the internet is complicated because it is not possible to exhibit many of the typical face to face flirting cues. However, many clever singles have discovered how to overcome the limitations of flirting online with great success. Here are a few of their strategies.
When you first interact with someone online it is wise to communicate in a conservative, non-flirtatious manner. It is imperative that you learn the comfort boundaries of your flirt partner. Gradually you will learn when it will be appropriate to behave in a more casual and playful way.
Do not be overly flirtatious. Discussing seriously intimate situations, being too open with sexual conversations, and using obviously sexually charged emoticons (small logos inserted into an emails or instant messages that carry a message like a bumper sticker on car), can be a real turn off. It is also more fun to ensure that you leave some topics for later when you may choose to meet in person.
Avoid using a lot of abbreviated internet lingo when having a conversation. Many people overuse the common acronyms like "LOL" (Laugh Out Load), and "BRB" (Be Right Back). It's annoying and may give the wrong impression about you.
Follow up with an email message or an electronic "thank you" card after a good instant message session. Many people, particularly females, will enjoy and take a positive note of this little act of kindness.
Understand human nature. It is a proven psychological fact that people see themselves as the most important aspect of their life. It is important to allow people to talk about themselves. Ask them questions about their daily activities and their interests. Individuals are attracted to those who take a keen interest in their lives.
Flirting commonly involves learning how to offer compliments. People almost always enjoy a well delivered, sincere, specific compliment. The compliments that you issue should be about something deeper than just their appearance. Perhaps the individual has an interesting hobby, is very successful in their job or is very involved with their children. Try complimenting the character, self control, endurance, tenacity or hard work required of their success instead of the success itself.
Finally be natural. Be yourself. Many individuals have the tendency to act like someone that they are not when they are online. Not only does this immediately reflect on you in a negative way but, it also can work against you later on. This is particularly true if the individual records all of your conversations only to discover later that you often contradicted yourself.
Always remember that the most powerful technique for successful online flirting simply involves patiently taking a sincere, honest interest in the other person.
Sexy Flirting by V.S. Arunraj
Let's say you go out to a party with some friends and draw attention of an attractive woman or man whom you are interested in. Sparks fly, as you exchange looks, talk animatedly, and even exchange numbers. After some pegs and laughs, you decide it is time to head home with the person.
In front of the crowd, it was okay. But now you two are alone. A wave of anxiety lurks in your mind as you are alone with her/him at home or at another place. Both of you know at the back of the mind, that you may end up making out. The point here is how you would communicate this part across to your object of attraction without sounding cheap, desperate or explicit. Read on to know how you can be suggestive without being lewd:
Here are some sexy pointers to know the person before making the move!
Find out about how 'open' he or she is: In the time that you spend with the person, you should gauge enough to know about how open or broad-minded he or she is to such things. If the object of your attraction is openly giving vibes, your responsive mind will be able to pick up the subtle signals. However, if you find that the object of your attraction is a bit withdrawn, mindful or reticent about certain things, make sure that you do not rush or cross the line.
You may have to add a lot of charisma in your conversation to get the desired effect. You can let her or him know that they are irresistible and attractive because of their ?(spot one quality and name it). Also seemingly shy people need to open up and any sexual talk or double meanings at this juncture will spoil it. Make sure you only talk about a personality trait that is sexy rather than comment on any physical attribute that sounds suggestive.
Humor: Humor has been one of the hottest qualities in many flirts and will be for the next 500 years. It is the best way to break the ice. Again there are different types of humor which you can use according to the temperament of the person. Try telling a joke about a guy who slipped on a banana peel. There are chances a girl break into peals of giggles. Another girl might just find this kind of humor pathetic and disgusting. It is always better to use general humor which does not offend any sentiments. And one more thing, cheesy pick up lines are just that.. cheesy!
Be a tease: You need to loosen up and be playful. That does not mean, you go on tugging at his shirt or tugging at her hair clip. Tease her or him in a seductive manner so that he or she gets aroused and humored at the same time. Let the other person know that you are interested in him or her and are really enjoying their company.
Dance: Dancing is flirting in action. For those who can dance, this is a piece of cake. For those who cannot, it still works. Have feet, will dance! You do not really have to gyrate or break into a jive. If you can, then it is always a plus point. For those who cannot, you can still just hold the person close and move with her or him matching the steps. If you really do not know the moves, the person will guide you, if he or she is interested in you. Know that dancing can lead to a range of sizzling delights later. So make sure, you do not pass this one!
Eat to know better: There is something sensuous about a way person eats her or his food. It can subtly give you an idea about the person he or she is in bed. If he or she talks a lot while eating food, there is a chance that he or she likes to be talkative in bed too. If he or she is practiced and measured while eating, there are chances that they can be the same way in other areas of life, which include love making skills too. If they are clumsy and rushed while eating (assuming there is no urgent appointment), there is a chance that they will be the same in bed too. After all it all boils down to a person's characteristics and traits. Hunger and sex are after all, basic instincts in a person, which compliment each other.
Relaxed touches: Do not ever ogle at a person's body (especially a lady's) like a sex maniac. You will ruin it. Do not grope or fondle a person in the hope of turning him or her on. It does not work and you end up getting a slap or having the person leaving you stranded. If you want to touch her, keep it casual. Do not make it seem as if it is a big deal. You need to keep it sexy enough but without any showing any element of explicitness. For example, a soft caress on the cheek (of the face that is), gentle holding of hands, caressing the palm or gentle tugging of the ear as you talk can be amusing and flirtatious without looking lewd. As for the grand course, you will know it as she or he picks up on your cues and gets into the groove with you.
About the Author V.S. ARUNRAJ believes that our sex life can be improved if we care enough to go back to our roots (ie, nature) and ingrain humor and love in our lives.
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How to Flirt
How to Flirt by Alana Beyer
Become a Pro at the Art of Flirting with the Opposite Sex
You finally get them to notice you and they walk over to talk to you. Now what? How do you keep them interested? That is where the art of flirting comes in. It's really quite simple.
It's Saturday night in a crowded bar. A man and woman are locked in conversation. She's laughing, batting her eyelashes and playing with her hair. He's standing with his head tilted slightly, leaning in toward her and occasionally touching her arm. They're performing a social ritual that's been around for more than 5,000 years -- flirting.
Flirting is one of the great joys in life. It's an ego booster that makes you feel more attractive and desirable. Flirt with someone and they feel excited, flattered, appreciated and darn good about themselves. So indulge yourself whenever possible.
Two things are going on when you flirt. The first is the actual conversation, and the second is your body language. Flirting is an enticement and an invitation that lets the other person catch glimpses of your most attractive characteristics and behaviors.
These days, it's a lost art, but it's great fun when done well. Practice flirting with acquaintances or friends of the opposite sex (without telling them) and see what techniques get the best response.
For those who feel clueless about where to even start, we assure you that flirting is a learned behavior. It's not only possible to pick up the basics, but with a little practice, you can perfect the art. Let's start with the flirting conversation.
Can We Talk?
Flirting is considered a meta-conversation, which means it's three or four degrees of separation from what you're really saying. There's an underlying meaning to everything that's said. You might say directly, "That's really interesting," but the underlying meaning is, "I'm interested in you -- perhaps sexually." There's a lot of unspoken communication going on: suggesting without stating, eye contact, body language, nods, smiles, encouragement and perhaps the start of something big.
Some men believe flirting is teasing encouragement and expect something at the end of it. If this is you, let us set you straight: If a woman flirts with you , or you flirt with her, it's simply an opportunity for an entertaining exchange of playful banter. It doesn't mean you are guaranteed anything -- not a dance, a drink, or a date.
Flirting is all about showing interest in the other person. So ask questions and be attentive to the answers. Sometimes you can get caught up in the seductive aspect of flirting and find yourself stuck without a word to say. If this happens, there is a very powerful technique you can use called active listening. It's easy and will help you think of topics to discuss in any situation.
The most interesting people are usually the ones who are most interested in others. Suppose your date (or potential date) tells you about her day and she mentions that she bought plants for her garden. You can use that to move into a fun conversation. Her garden might not mean anything to you, but it's obviously important to her. So you could say, "What's it like?" She'll jump at the chance to answer and actually think you're more interesting because you are interested in HER garden. And she'll become more interested in you! She interested and intrigued by your desire to get to know her more.
FIND FUN, FRIENDS & LOVE
The Art of Meeting Women in Bars and Clubs
The Art of Meeting Women in Bars and Clubs by Mike Pilinski
Bars and nightclubs can be tough for a lot of guys insofar as meeting women is concerned -- they are not part of the "normal world" in the sense that many of the usual social techniques that we use to keep each other entertained crash and burn in this environment. The women look extra hot and are densely concentrated in one big room, but that's where the advantages over ordinary life pretty much end for most of us.
Everybody has their eyes focused on the top 20% of the hottest bodies moving around them like sleek, beautiful animals (and this goes for both the men AND the women). Because of this understandable fantasy phenomenon, the rest of us look lessened and low quality in the shadow of the visually hottest.
For instance, if you happen to have the male disease of shortness like I do, you will seem that much shorter and perhaps even comical standing next to the towering, muscular Sven or his rap star look-alike buddy at the nightclub. Girls who would otherwise pick up a flirt in a grocery store isle will reject you in a heartbeat simply for failing to make that top 20% cut. It's an environment that requires a thick skin for casual rejection if you happen to strike an average pose, to say the least.
With that in mind, here's 5 important things to know about successfully socializing within the fantasy universe of bars and clubs:
1) The bar / club scene demands that you participate in the culture of what I call the "3-D's"... Dancing, Dressing, and the Displaying of attitude. You know what I'm talking about here and if you don't then you need to visit a few of these places and observe the dynamics going on for yourself. Guys who play the part expected of them by the foxy bar-queens that populate these places do the best. Whereas guys who stand around and watch, well... they stand around and watch. If these kinds of behaviors don't come natural to you, then you'll have to learn how to playact your way into this mindset because it's the only way that you'll have any sort of reasonable success-to-rejection ratio.
Begin by frequenting some of the best places near you. Watch and study the "players" who seem to always have women buzzing around them. These guys did not simply show up one day and rule the roost - they paid their dues by spending many evenings dancing and drinking, flirting and getting shot down, staying at it until they made a few breakthroughs... and finally making some "friends of a feather" and creating a little entourage for themselves. This doesn't happen overnight. It takes a commitment of time and money... cover fees, hot clothes, bar tabs, etc. It takes a determination to want to bury yourself deep down into this scene and become comfortable with it.
Extroverts naturally do much better than introverts in the high-pressure club environment because they take to the whole dancing-drinking-romancing thing like a fish to water, whereas introverts tend to turtle up and become cautious... a behavior that can make you seem completely invisible. A meek little "Hi my name is Joe..." will likely be ignored -- you just won't show up on anyone's radar giving off personality power this feeble.
Instead, you need to open strong with a dramatic, playful flirt... something like "Hey baby, you looked really smokin' out there on the dance floor! Very nice, I love that _____ look (mention something unique about her appearance), it's great!" Your delivery should be big and grand and seasoned with a jocular demeanor.
2) The motives of women in nightclubs is different than that of the men, who are basically either trying to meet some hot bitch or get laid that night. On the other hand, many of the women are perfectly happy to tease the men and get their rocks off on all the slobbering male attention -- and that's the extent of it. They drink this psychological goo up like sweet honey - and the more determined they are to make a spectacle of themselves the more certain you can be this is what they're probably all about. Only the top players who are deep into the culture have a shot at these type of sexy airheads.
Outside the club these same girls can sport completely different personalities -- which is why I say it's best to try and meet them where they least expect it in everyday life. Of course, the attraction of the club scene is that the chicks are concentrated in one big pile for you to ogle and hit on -- whereas the opportunities are certainly far fewer and of a lower quality in real life.
For those of you with limited patience or who feel that there aren't enough opportunities available in your daily life to effectively meet anyone worthwhile, then the clubs are probably your better option. Just understand these major differences and adapt to them. If you can't get into the hoppin' and boppin', high-energy aspect of it, then maybe those quieter corner bars might be a better bet for you.
3) You need to have excellent non-verbal communication skills. Why? Because most of these places are so loud you can barely hear yourself think much less communicate with anyone! Typical club music booms along at volume levels that will make your internal organs shudder, so If the strongest part of your game revolves around your brilliant conversational skills you won't get to display much of your talent in this environment. In fact, you will just melt away into the wallpaper before long.
Communication in clubs consists mainly of groping, making-out and staring into each other's eyes... in other words, a lot of physical stuff. Next time you're out at one of these places just watch how much of this is going on. It takes a willingness to dive head first into this mode and get bold with your hands with women you hardly know. Does this sort of behavior fit your temperament? Can you grease up with a few shots of Ol' Grandad and get into the spirit of things even if you're normally far more reserved? Remember that we're not talking about reality here, but rather the strange universe of club reality.
4) Watch her eyes!... the eyes will always tell the tale and they will tell it immediately. If she won't bother to even meet your eye when you're trying to engage her I would suggest that you bail immediately. She's a Queen who's not interested in you for whatever reason, probably because she doesn't recognize you as being in the "club clique". You're not a full time player... just a poor amateur looking for a few thrills. Pushing further is likely to draw a more publicly humiliating rejection than anyone should have to suffer (like I did several times!). So you should be ready to sort through the women FAST in this environment. Speaking of which...
5) Everything is time-compressed in Clubworld. There's no messing around pulling phone numbers after long, sunny conversations. Clubworld is all about ACTION... this is not a venue for meeting women with the idea of dating them in the future - it's all about TONIGHT! That's why lots of touching, flirting, sexual innuendo are in order.
The women are there to get fired-up and have some kind of adventure that evening, which could mean anything from a hair-ripping catfight to hooking up with dreamy Mr. Disco. They are certainly not there to meet sweet nice guys for later dating. If that's what you're about then you will find yourself on the sidelines.
But... if you can learn how to take on a "club-face" for yourself - dance, circulate, get gossiped about by the women, become recognized as a familiar face, etc. - then you can thrive in these environs. You'll have to train yourself to compete against all the other top dog males just like an athletic event -- so get busy polishing up those dance moves, and remember that things here happen fast!
About the Author: Visit Mike Pilinski's website at HighStatusMale.com to see his highly acclaimed e-books "Without Embarrassment" and "She's Yours For The Taking: A Man's Guide to the Seduction and Enchantment of Women".