No mater if you're a recently divorced single or been single for sometime... If you are a Single seeking another Single... for a relationship, romance, a date, or whatever, and you find meeting single men or women to be difficult, we're here to help.
Be sure to read the advice and information on the Singles Lifestyle that we have assembled below... also check out the various Dating Profiles on our Online Dating page... and take a look at our list of Local Singles Events to see if something's going on near you. Or perhaps you'll meet the love of your life on a Singles Cruise or Vacation.
Each day we are bombarded by ads and tips for navigating the world of online dating. If we didn't know better we might believe that in order to be complete in our life we have to have a mate. Well if that were true, what about all the folks out there living single and apparently loving it?
In 1970 only 7.8% of Americans aged 30-34 had never married. By 2003 that number had risen to 27.9%. The reasons are many, the rise in the divorce rate, the feminist movement and the intolerance by many singles to be married just for the sake of having a partner. Add to that the fact that as people live longer there is a greater chance they will be living that way as a widow or widower.
The plus side is that it is easier than ever to be living single. Though it once may have been the norm to have a two parent household with the rise in the divorce rate many parents are doing the job alone or sharing it with their ex-spouse. Having a child as single woman or adopting as a single parent have found an acceptance today that they might not have enjoyed twenty or so years ago.
Despite what you may have been led to believe single people are living full and happy lives and are not necessarily looking to change their single status. That is not to say they shun relationships, but instead they feel free to not settle for anything less than Mr. or Ms. Right. If the perfect person comes along it is a blessing but if it never happens they certainly don't feel as though they have been cursed.
Single woman today do not depend on a partner for financial security. She has her own investments, buys her own home and has a family if she should desire. In fact single women are the second largest group of home buyers nationally. Clearly a man does not define who she is for she is perfectly capable of defining herself. As for the single men out there, a woman does not equal a complete life. They are able to create that for themselves.
Many singles feel that marriage is a full time job and for now they have other goals they want to achieve. They have career and education goals that take priority and if a relationship does not interfere with these goals that is fine, but evidently a relationship may be a little lower on the list of priorities.
Let's not discount the population of single adults left in the wake of rising divorce rates. Living single has allowed the opportunity to reconnect with them self, after being in an unsuccessful relationship. Living single can help to define what the appealing parts of a relationship are and what they would not tolerate again.
Whereas it is true that for some people singleness is thrust upon them through the death of a spouse or a partner, for a growing number of others it is a conscious choice. Though many admit it was not their first choice they have come to accept life on life's terms and pursue nothing less than a full and happy life.
Researchers may have found that married people are happier than single people and even live longer. Many traditionalists may feel that singles are making a mistake by shunning the accepted view of how men and women should conduct their lives, meaning together, for the benefit of society. Despite these beliefs it appears that the marriage rate is slowing down and today's singles are finding that the traditional married role will not necessarily guarantee happiness.
Living single today includes carving out a life that is uniquely your own. By the looks of it, whether they remain single in the short term or for the long haul, single men and women are finding ways to love it.
About the Author: Maureen Staiano is a Life Coach specializing in working with women and the unique and challenging transitions we face in our lives.
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5 Tips For Successful Solo Living
5 Tips For Successful Solo Living By Joanne Mallon
1. Living alone doesn’t have to mean living lonely. Building a community of people who care about you will help you stop feeling lonely or disconnected. Take time to see friends, join clubs or do volunteer work. Having a partner isn’t the only way to get your emotional needs met – your quality of life will improve when you start to include others in it.
2. Live in the present, not the past. Make sure your surroundings reflect who you are now and who you want to be in the future. If you’ve recently split up with a partner your home may reflect what you created together. What do you want your home to say about you now? Take the opportunity for a spring cleaning and create a home that uplifts and supports you.
3. Be the hostess with the mostest. Don’t assume that your friends with partners or families are going to be too busy to hang out with you. They may well relish the comparative calmness that solo living brings. Invite friends round or make regular dates to have fun.
4. Treat yourself – you’re worth it. You don’t need a partner to give yourself gifts, time or attention – you can do all of this yourself. Bringing a little luxury into your life will support your confidence and self –esteem.
5. Enjoy your single status and the opportunities it brings. Now’s the time to do all the things you meant to do but were too busy to because you were in a relationship. Take time to plan how you’d like your life to be in 5, 10, even 20 years time. What have you always wanted to do but held back on because your partner wasn’t interested or wouldn’t approve? The rest of your life starts now so make it happen.
About the Author: Joanne Mallon is a life and career coach. She specializes in helping people fulfill their potential, especially media and creative workers. For more information and a free motivation newsletter, visit www.JoanneMallon.com
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Enjoying the Singles Scene
Enjoying the Singles Scene by Ron Steiner
So many couples think that it wouldn't be fun to be single and that everyone should be trying to get married off. While marriage is in many singles future plans, you can enjoy being single while you are!
The focus shouldn't just be on finding someone to settle down with, instead everyone that is single should take the time to really enjoy their independence, as well as the opportunities to meet and really get to know people from all walks of life. The singles scene can encompass everything you want it to, from late nights out with friends, sexual exploration, trips abroad, and even the ability to dabble in selfishness.
The singles scene can be a lot of fun if you are willing to embrace it and really enjoy it for what it is. When you are single you can decide on your own what clubs you want to frequent, how you define your relationships, and what you will eat for dinner. If you want to be spontaneous you can, and no one will be inconvenienced by it. You can date someone new every night, or you can casually date just one or two people. These are all positive aspects of being single.
Many singles overlook the positive side of being single, but that is because they are too wrapped up in wanting to be coupled up. When you let go and stop looking for someone that is when you will really start to enjoy life. You can find great singles groups to enjoy activities with, you can go to movies with friends, and enjoy candle lit dinners by yourself or with dear friends. When you stop thinking about being single and start enjoying life is when you become the most attractive and love will find you, if it is meant to be.
When you are single you can enjoy online dating websites where you can post all of your information without obsessing over the fact that you are in fact single! When you approach the single life with excitement other people will find you fascinating and you will inspire others to do the same.
When you are single you have all the time in the world to meet people, do new things, and simply enjoy life the way you want it with no compromises. The single scene is a lot of fun, so enjoy it now, before love finds you and changes everything!
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Dating After Forty
Dating After Forty by: Ron Zvagelsky
Today, people are living longer than ever before. Couple that with the high divorce rates, and you have a new generation of baby boomers who are finding themselves single and entering the dating scene all over again.
Many people are discovering that dating after forty isn’t all that bad, in fact, it has many benefits. For example, many women who are reentering the dating field find that after forty, they have a level of self-confidence that they never dreamt of having while in their twenties. And it isn’t just women who are enjoying the new level of self-assuredness. Men are finding that dating after forty has many perks, and they aren’t just the usual ones associated with midlife crisis.
More men are dating women their age and are seeking meaningful relationships and not just a spring fling with a woman decades younger. One of the greatest advantages that many older singles are experiencing today involves using the Internet to find suitable dates. There are a number of different websites that allow users to meet people, chat, find friends, and hopefully make those special connections that can turn into a serious relationship. Those who are finding themselves in the dating scene after being in a relationship for a long period of time are finding it much easier to meet people and begin dating again through the use of dating sites.
After forty, people are finding that not only do they have more self confidence, but they are more financially secure, their younger children are grown, they have a good handle on who they are, and what they are looking for in a companion. This makes finding a suitable date a much simpler task then when they were younger. Additionally, people who begin dating after forty often find that they both contribute more to the relationship then when they did in previous years. They have further developed their communication skills, are better listeners, and know how to be a better partner.
Whether you are looking for friendly companionship or a serious commitment, meeting other singles after forty isn’t very difficult. You can use the help of Internet dating sites, browse personal ads, or meet people by engaging in various hobbies and activities. Finding companions that have similar interests is a great way to ensure that you and your partner will have enjoyable excursions on your dates. Whether it is bowling, golfing, attending museums together, or participating in sporting activities sharing common interests is a great way to build a relationship.
If you feel uncomfortable about entering the dating scene, the first word of advice is to relax. You may be surprised to learn that the majority of singles right now are in the over forty-age bracket. The first rule of thumb is to recognize that you should have fun. You may be tempted to feel self-conscious about your self, your body image, or have doubts, fears, and anxieties about dating again, but you needn’t feel this way. After forty, you deserve to feel at peace with your body, mind, and spirit. Whether you went through a divorce or have lost a spouse through death, it isn’t over. In fact, a new chapter of your life is just beginning. Though it may be painful to make the transition, you can enjoy the rest of your life, and have someone to share it with. By trusting who you are, you can embrace this new journey with open arms.
How To Avoid Paying Singles Supplements
How To Avoid Paying Singles Supplements by: Mark Hammond
Single supplements are a premium charge that you pay when you occupy a room by yourself when traveling. The price of many travel tours is based on "double occupancy." If you prefer to room by yourself, you usually pay double the price. There are ways to avoid paying single supplements.
You may be able to avoid paying single supplements if you ask the right questions when you book your travel. Ask if single supplements are charged year-round. Sometimes you can get a break during the off season.
Ask if there are other options where you wouldn’t be charged a single supplement. Sometimes you can avoid a single supplement by being flexible with your plans. Maybe you can stay an extra day or two at one place, or use a different cruise ship.
If you book your travel at the last minute, ask to have the single supplement removed. Sometimes vendors would rather fill a tour than charge the extra fee.
Do your best to negotiate a lower fee if you can’t eliminate it. It never hurts to ask.
Book your travel with hotels that don’t charge a single supplement. Most UK hotels charge the same room rate whether one or two people stay there.
Booking with a singles tour may also eliminate single supplements. The tour vendor will usually book a block of rooms, and may be able to negotiate a lower fee based on the number of rooms paid for.
Sharing the Cost
If you can’t eliminate a single supplement, maybe you can find a way to share the cost.
Consider taking a friend. That’s your best option for making reasonably sure you have a compatible travel companion to share accommodations with. Traveling with a friend is usually fun, and you get to know each other better. It is important to make sure your friend is someone you can room with and spend a lot of time with.
Use a matching service. Matching services help you find a travel companion to share expenses with. They use the same kind of compatibility surveys that dating services do. There is always some risk in traveling with someone you don’t know, and compatibility surveys don’t identify every possible area of conflict, but these services usually do work pretty well.
Advertise for a travel companion. You can place an ad in a local newspaper, on an electronic bulletin board, or in some other venue. Try to place your ad in a medium that will be read by people you want to travel with. This is probably the riskiest way to find a travel companion. If you choose this method to find a traveling companion, you may want to consider asking them for references and a background check.
If you prefer to travel alone—and especially to have your own room—it may be worth it for you to pay a single supplement. If you want to save the money, however, you can either try to eliminate the charge or find someone to share it with.
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Dating And Self Confidence
Dating And Self Confidence by Lee Dobbins
Dating can be stressful and nerve wracking. You might feel like you are under a microscope and all your failures and faults are exposed in the open. But you can make things easier on yourself by boosting your confidence. You'll be much more attractive to any date when you exude self-confidence plus you'll be able to enjoy yourself more and get much more out of the dating experience.
Since the whole point of dating is getting to know someone better, most people are nervous about making a good impression. Self-doubts can creep in - are you smart enough? Attractive enough? Successful enough? That coupled with the threat of rejection is enough to make anyone's confidence go south.
So how can you increase your confidence for your next date?
First off, don't blow the date all out of proportion. It is just a date - one afternoon or evening. The rest of your life does not depend on it, although of course, you could be meeting your future spouse! Whether you are just looking for a fun night out or desperately trying to find Mr or Mrs right, it is best to just focus on the date itself. Take it for what it is and don't put a lot of pressure on the event. Enjoy the person you are on the date with and the meal, movie or whatever - don't have any great expectations other than a fun date.
Go into the date thinking of yourself as a person that has a lot of confidence. We've all seen them, the person that sweeps into the room and turns heads even when they might not be the most attractive or best dressed. If you picture yourself as confident then you will act this way - even when you don't really feel it.
You've heard it before but the best way to have confidence on a date is to be yourself. Don't try to impress your date by acting like someone you are not because you will not have the confidence to pull it off. If you hit it off with your date, you'll be glad you weren't pretending to be someone else as it will only be exposed later and could really muss things up for you. Plus it just takes too much effort to pretend to be someone else and you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much. And anyway, why wouldn't your date like you for who you are?
If you feel insecure about yourself, focus on the other person. Become interested in their hobbies, likes dislikes and really think about what they have to say. When you put them in the spotlight it takes the spotlight off of you, plus you get to learn a lot about them. Ask questions and really hear the answers then ask more questions about the answers. Of course, you want to do this in a conversational way and not make your date feel like you are grilling them! While you don't want to talk just about yourself the whole time you also don't want to make it seem like you are avoiding answering their questions. When you do talk about yourself highlight your positive points.
Another way to take some of the pressure out of a date is to do something different instead of sitting at dinner and feeling insecure about coming up with 3 hours of conversation with someone you don't know. Find a common interest, perhaps hiking or bird watching and make that date to do that. This way you can talk about your experiences related to this interest and it will take a lot of the pressure off as well as boost your self-confidence as you will be talking about something you know a lot about!
The main thing when dating is to remember that you are a valuable and special person. Don't feel inferior to anyone and be confident - this will help win you many friends and, maybe even that special someone!
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Dating After Divorce
Dating After Divorce by Jenny Natrix
Dating After Divorce: Jumping Into The Social Pool
A divorce is an emotionally devastating time for many. The end of a relationship can leave a person with low self-esteem and just thinking about dating after divorce can make even the strongest among us, nervous and unsure. Dating after divorce is difficult, it may take some time to find ways that can bring you back into the dating world.
Preparing For Dating After Divorce
For many who are single once again, it may appear that the dating pool has dwindled, that there are fewer single people than when they were initially dating. The statistics show that there are more single people now than there was in the past. Older singles have a tendency to not go on as many dates as their younger counterparts, but there are many single people available.
It can feel very awkward to begin dating after divorce. The whole idea of trying to meet new people when many have just ended a long-term relationship can feel overwhelming. It is important to surround yourself with people that can help build your confidence, and that can remind you of the assets that you possess. Feeling good about yourself is truly one of the best things that you can do to help with dating after divorce.
Also, it may be a good idea to take some time and find out what it is you want in your life at this point. Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to ski or scuba dive, this may be a time to learn about those things and incorporate them into your life. Evaluating who you are now and where you are going is another tool in preparing yourself for dating after divorce.
Find Places To Meet Others
Most people are not going to be meeting anyone by staying home. Find activities that you enjoy and get involved. There are many clubs that cater to singles, and these can be a great way to begin the journey to dating after divorce. These groups don't need to be thought of as a dating service, but just a way to connect with other singles. If you don't meet your next mate, you may possibly gain new friendships that can add a great deal to your life.
By joining groups and meeting other people, many feel their confidence build and can approach dating in a more positive manner. Dating after divorce is a big step in continuing on with your life. Take the time to learn what are your own interests and ways to meet people through those interests.
The Evolution of Being Single
The Evolution of Being Single by Rod Cortez
Meeting other single women has become a daunting task for millions of single men. Some men were married for many years, then divorced, and lost their confidence with their dating skills. There are many reasons why this is, but generally its because it is outside the man's comfort zone. However, lets dig a little deeper. Some men are looking to meet other singles for the wrong reasons.
Too often I've heard men tell me that they felt "lonely", "empty", or "like I'm a loser if I don't have a girlfriend."
These are certainly not healthy reasons to want to meet a woman, date her, and then hopefully take it to the next level. Why? Because they they'll behave in needy ways that will cause her to lose attraction. Even worse, they may end up dating the wrong kind of woman thinking "this is the best I can do." I've met so many men who were in very unhappy marriages simply because they settled. Many of them told me that "it was the right thing to do" or "I was in my mid-30s, so it was about time I got married."
These are not good reasons to go out and find a single woman. If you are coming from a place of neediness or desperation or wanting to fill some kind of empty void inside your soul, then you're not ready to start looking for anything serious. So what's the solution? Well, there is no real blueprint to follow on what to do because all men learn things in different ways. As men we do not evolve and change and grow at the same rate.
I will use myself as an example because many years ago I fell into this trap. During my early college years I was desperate to find a girlfriend. I met many single women on campus at the University I attended, but because I was incredibly shy I didn't know how to seal the deal. It was frustrating because all my male friends had girlfriends. I was the only one who did not have one. Then one day it occurred to me that I wanted to have a girlfriend for all the wrong reasons. I realized at that moment that you attract what you are. At that point in my life my confidence and self-esteem were at an all time low. I had to be honest with myself. What girl would ever want me in my current emotional, mental, and physical condition?
I realized that I needed and wanted to improve myself on every level that I could. It wasn't so I could attract another girl either. I did it for me. As cheezy as it sounds that was the first day I truly learned to like myself. Almost on auto pilot I gradually became more social. I joined several clubs on campus and attended their social events such as dances, barbecues, beach clean ups, bike rides, etc. I enrolled in a dance class and then the following two semesters I took a martial art called Aikido which taught me how to relax and live in the moment (which is a very important element in happiness). I began exercising 3 to 5 times a week. I made sure that exercise was fun by playing basketball, tennis, and joining fitness groups that also liked to workout. I even went on a 100 mile bike ride with a large bike-riding group.
Sure, I did these things to meet people, practice my social muscles, but I also did it to improve myself. I didn't want a woman to "complete" me. I wanted to be complete when I met her and that dating one another was simply an added bonus for both of us. Before I knew it several months had passed and my friends and family began to take notice. They said I was happier, in better shape, and believe it or not, I had several women open me for a change. We exchanged pleasantries but I never asked for their phone number. I didn't need it. I wasn't at that place in my life where I "had" to be with someone. I was having way too much fun with my new and old friends, meeting new people, improving myself, and taking on new adventures.
That's the evolution of being single.
If you watch television, the movies, or even talk to people in your everyday life you'll notice if you're single people ask you "are you married?" or "do you have a girlfriend?". I see it a lot in the media. We've been conditioned to think and feel that being single is not a good thing, when in reality the reverse is true. If you can be happy and fulfilled being single and want to meet other singles because it will add to your life then that's a sure sign that you have evolved into a mature, healthy male; that's the kind of man that attracts with women with very little effort.
About the Author: With more than 4,000 approaches and hundreds of dates to his credit, Rod Cortez has helped thousands of men in over 44 countries have more dating success.